For 15 years I sat in a perfectly lovely bubble of the ‘relationship’. I had a companion, best friend and someone to snuggle up with on the sofa. I had someone to argue with, cry with and laugh with.
Now my relationship was far from perfect (yeah who you kidding), but I thought I would grow old, get married and settle down with this person.
Since the age of 21, I was part of a couple, it is really all I have ever known.
My twenties were spent buying a house, buying stuff to fill a house, worrying about money, earning enough money and just generally doing ‘couple’ stuff.
When I look back at this time I never craved going out with my friends and partying and I certainly never felt like I was missing out on my youth.
The one regret I do have is how I was a fickle friend. As soon as I moved from the area (albeit 10 miles away) friends soon dropped by the wayside and I wholeheartedly was a couple. I did not need my friends now, I had this person I needed to dedicate all of my time too.
We are all guilty of losing ourselves in a relationship, love is a strong medicine. As I look at the couples around me, most of them have managed to sustain their friendships as well as their marriage or relationship but that friendship will always come second to their relationship or marriage.
Why do we give up our friends or make them ‘second best’ when we enter into a relationship?
My brain is still coming to terms with the fact it is just me and my heart is certainly still not sure what is going on.
What does being single mean?
At first, it meant loneliness, long nights watching sad films and listening to sad songs. It was scary, overwhelming and awful.
Now as the weeks go on being single means freedom, nights in gorging on Sex & the City, dancing like a crazy lady around the kitchen and the WHOLE bed to myself.
Being as I have shared the most intricate details of my life and battle with an eating disorder, I figured why not share my journey through being Single and fabulous!