How phubbing could be effecting your relationship?


Whenever I see a new trend word or social media acronym a small piece of me grimaces, yet curiosity always gets the better of me! 

I recently fell across the word ‘phubbing’. Ironically, little did I know I have been phubbing.

What is ‘phubbing’?

Well, you may even find you are phubbing at this moment in time. 

Phubbing is when you are looking/reading/playing or interacting with your smart phone or screen; whilst your partner or friend is talking to you. 

Yes, deny it all you like, I am sure you have phubbed a few people lately.

I do not want to purposely put a negative spin on this phenomena but it did get me thinking about my relationships; not just with a partner, but friends and family too.

How could phubbing be affecting your relationship?

#1 We all like to believe we are being listened to, especially when we are in a relationship where communication is pretty key to harmony and trust. 

I know from experience if I am reading an interesting article whilst my partner is trying to tell me about his plans for the next day – I am not really listening! How does that make the other person feel – well not heard!

#2 Communication is key. How many times are we reminded how important communication in a relationship is for sustained happiness? Well, a lot.

When we are constantly phubbing, we are effectively closing the door on communication. No communication = No idea how the other person is doing/feeling/thinking.

#3 It’s kinda rude. I am the first to comment (or judge) how rude it is that one of the couples or kids sat next to me is looking on the phone at the dinner table. No one wants to look across at the forehead or thinning hairline of their loved one or family member. 

No one wants to look across at the forehead or thinning hairline of their loved one or family member. 

#4 Nothing important to say. Ever felt like you have nothing important to say? No more is that feeling more apparent when the person next to you is ‘phubbing’ you. Unfortunately, this can lead to a lack of confidence and self-esteem.

# Eye contact. This is a sure fire way to feel a connection to someone. You can read emotion, happiness, pain, fear and build deep trustworthy connections from the simple act of making eye contact. 

With statistics claiming we get phubbed or phub someone up to 150 times a day, it only reinforces the impact smart phones are having on society.

Next time you are scrolling on your smart phone whilst out with friends or sat with a loved one, be mindful if you are indeed phubbing. You may just start being told to ‘phub off’