Anorexia, myself and I – Do we ALL move to Spain?!

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We have taken so many chances and opportunities over the last three years. We launched a food business, closed a food business, sold our house to move on a boat, launched and run a successful chauffeur business and I now write for some of the most amazing companies all over the world. We have sat for some crazy animals all over the world and met some amazingly wonderful people. (Especially our new found friends in Geneva – :-))

Compared to the ‘norm’ which for most is the 9am – 5pm, a mortgage, a nice car and probably a couple of kids, we live a pretty unique and risky life.

We never look at it this way, we have made choices to get us where we are and for some of the time its been pretty hard BUT for the most part its been life enhancing.

We have never fit into the regime of what we are expected to do, the thought of saving for retirement fills me with dread. What is a shit load of money at 70 really going to get you???

Health is your most valuable asset and no amount of money can promise that. You may have worked hard to reach 70 and be a very wealthy person BUT if you cannot travel or enjoy life through ill health; that ain’t fun!

As someone with a mental illness and who suffers from bouts of depression the unknown can sometimes be really scary but was the norm of stability and a career any easier – NO! If anything it was worse, if I need to take half a day now to feel sad, then I can. I have permission to feel SAD and I don’t have the guilt associated with having to call into work SICK.

I digress! Our next opportunity has come along, an opportunity that we are embracing and have said YES too.

We are moving to Spain for 6 months!

WOW even saying that out loud is scary and exciting all at once. I seem to go with gut feelings and this one feels pretty strong, so we are off, we are saying farewell to blighty and embracing a new culture, way of life and everything else associated with moving abroad.

My biggest question to myself is – Do I take anorexia with me, does it really have to gatecrash another party?! Is there really room for three of us in Spain?!

I am not a fan of the expression ‘start afresh’ but I really feel this is apt for this move, it could be a new start, a new frame of mind BUT that means pressure to get better! Pressure I put on myself everyday that has yet to have any effect!

Therapy is certainly helping, it strangely has really made me struggle to write my blog as it has brought a lot of raw emotions to the surface and I am scared they might leak into my blogs, therapy has made me angry (can you tell from my ranting) but I need to get angry and let it out.

I have no idea if therapy will ultimately be the CURE that I am looking for BUT in just talking to someone so completely removed from me and my life it has given a new perspective on WHY I may have this disease, why it chose ME.

Spain will offer a change of scenery, a different way of life and the chance to move away from what I know and the triggers that keep entwined with Anorexia! Will it offer a CURE or SOLACE from my ever present enemy?!

This is definitely a question I will ask myself everyday and like everyone else I have a choice, I can choose to let it go!

Opportunities are ever present for everyone, opening your eyes and embracing FEAR is all it takes. You always have a choice (easy for me to say) so if something comes your way, listen to yourself and if it feels right – DO IT! Life really is too short, no it really is!

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