Anorexia, myself & I – Day 347

I try to spend time reading other peoples blogs; I find the blogs I read empowering, relatable and I take comfort from knowing I am not alone.

I started my blog in the hope others would come across it and take comfort from knowing they are not alone. I realise for some there is some sick fascination in reading about someone’s struggles, it often helps them feel better about their lives.

Loneliness is a HUGE part of mental illness, we exclude ourselves, Anorexia is a spoilt child who constantly needs attention.

Like other diseases, although ‘we’ are all given the same diagnoses, everyone’s illness and in particular mental illness is so unique to the individual. We may all have similar thoughts around food, weight loss, and eventually weight gain, but our illnesses rules and regulations can and do differ greatly.

This week it suddenly dawned on me that my recovery is not about being positive, saying positive affirmations, reminding myself I am worth recovering for. Recovery is about overcoming fear.

Its about being brave and facing my fears head on. Isn’t that what we are all encouraged to do when faced with fear? Face it head on and you may just have a chance of overcoming it.

If you were asked to face your biggest fear every day for as long as it took to beat it, would you be able too?

Another night full of broken sleep and stomach issues always leaves me exhausted the next day, mentally and physically. Today I have chosen to feel how I feel and that’s OK. 

It is OK I have not been out making the most of the sun, after all, there will always be more sunshine. It is OK I have not sat and focussed on the vast number of articles I need to work on, its OK not to be perfect today. Today, I have overcome the FEAR of resting and taking it easy.

Fear can be healthy and fear can give us grit and determination. When used in the right way fear can be put to positive effect. 

The next week brings more appointments, blood tests, meal plans and facing my fears every day. I have learned to always expect the unexpected in my recovery.

Did you know 3 years ago the government allocated the NHS nearly £30 million towards improving mental illness treatment? However, the sad truth is that many are still waiting for it to filter through.

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